15 80s Worst Hits That Still Make People Cringe
Remember those songs that played on repeat during the 1980s?
Some tracks became instant classics, while others left listeners scratching their heads in confusion.
The decade gave us unforgettable music, but it also delivered some seriously questionable hits that still make people wince today.
Get ready to revisit 15 songs that somehow climbed the charts despite their cringe-worthy qualities!
Disclaimer: All selections and critiques are based on opinion and cultural reaction rather than any objective or absolute measure of musical quality.
1. Kokomo – The Beach Boys (1988)
How did a legendary surf rock band end up creating such a joyless beach tune?
This late-career attempt felt forced, with lyrics listing tropical locations like a boring geography lesson.
Critics called it insipid, and multiple worst-song lists have featured it prominently over the years.
The repetitive melody loops endlessly without delivering any of the magic their earlier hits possessed.
Though it topped charts, listening now feels like watching your favorite superhero stumble awkwardly.
2. Ebony and Ivory – Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder (1982)
Two musical legends joined forces to create this heavy-handed message about racial harmony.
Unfortunately, comparing people to piano keys came across as painfully simplistic rather than profound.
The metaphor got beaten to death throughout the entire song, making listeners cringe at its obviousness.
Both artists had created masterpieces before, which makes this collaboration feel especially disappointing.
3. I Just Called to Say I Love You – Stevie Wonder (1984)
Stevie Wonder gifted the world with incredible songs throughout his career, but this one missed the mark entirely.
Repetitive lyrics state the obvious over and over, lacking the poetic brilliance his other work demonstrated beautifully.
Critics found it bland and forgettable despite its commercial success and Oscar win.
The synthesizer arrangement sounds dated now, stripping away the soulful warmth Wonder typically delivered.
4. The Safety Dance – Men Without Hats (1982)
What exactly makes a dance safe, and why did this bizarre question become a worldwide hit?
Quirky synth-pop hooks combined with confusing lyrics about friends who refuse to dance created instant bewilderment.
The music video featured medieval imagery that had absolutely nothing to do with anything.
Though it climbed charts globally, most people remember it more for its weirdness than actual musical quality.
5. Mickey – Toni Basil (1982)
Cheerleader chants mixed with pop music created this relentlessly catchy yet supremely annoying earworm.
Toni Basil bounced around in her cheerleading outfit, spelling out M-I-C-K-E-Y until everyone wanted to scream.
The song became a one-hit wonder that defined both her career and the early eighties aesthetic.
6. We Built This City – Starship (1985)
Blender magazine crowned this track as the worst song ever recorded, and honestly, that reputation sticks like gum on a shoe.
Overproduced synthesizers clash with lyrics that make zero sense when you actually listen closely.
Critics tore it apart for being a corporate rock anthem that tried too hard to sound rebellious.
Radio stations played it constantly, but time has not been kind to this tune.
7. Do They Know It’s Christmas – Band Aid (1984)
Charity songs deserve praise for their intentions, but this one delivered problematic lyrics wrapped in awkward melodies.
The song suggested Africa had no awareness of Christmas, which came across as condescending and culturally insensitive.
Multiple famous voices crammed together created a messy vocal arrangement that lacked cohesion.
Though it raised money for famine relief, the execution made listeners uncomfortable even back then.
8. Shaddap You Face – Joe Dolce (1980)
An Italian-American novelty song somehow became a massive hit despite being incredibly annoying from the first note.
The exaggerated accent and silly lyrics were meant to be funny but came across as offensive stereotyping.
It knocked genuine classics off the charts, which made music fans question humanity’s collective judgment.
Critics universally panned it, yet it sold millions of copies worldwide anyway.
9. Agadoo – Black Lace (1984)
Picture a pineapple being pushed, a tree being shaken, and everyone doing ridiculous dance moves together.
This party anthem became inescapable at weddings and celebrations despite having zero musical merit whatsoever.
The repetitive chorus drilled into brains like a woodpecker attacking a tree trunk relentlessly.
Critics called it one of the worst songs ever, yet it remains a guilty pleasure at certain events.
10. I Think We’re Alone Now – Tiffany (1987)
Mall tour queen Tiffany covered this sixties song, turning it into a bubblegum pop phenomenon that defined teen music.
Her breathy vocals and synthesized production stripped away any edge the original version possessed.
Though teenagers loved it, critics found it shallow and manufactured, lacking genuine artistic value.
The song became synonymous with eighties excess and commercialized pop that prioritized sales over substance.
11. Don’t Worry, Be Happy – Bobby McFerrin (1988)
An a cappella song telling people not to worry became the most overplayed track of 1988.
The whistling and repetitive message grew annoying quickly, especially when life threw actual problems at listeners.
Though innovative in its vocal technique, the overly simplistic advice felt dismissive of real struggles.
Radio stations played it constantly until everyone begged for mercy and different music choices.
12. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – Wham! (1984)
George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley wore bright neon shorts and sang about jitterbug dancing with maximum enthusiasm.
The relentlessly upbeat energy and silly lyrics made it impossible to take seriously even during its heyday.
Critics found it lightweight fluff that showcased style over substance in typical eighties fashion.
Though it became a massive hit, the song represents everything cheesy about mid-eighties pop excess.
13. Never Gonna Give You Up – Rick Astley (1987)
Before internet memes made it famous again, this song confused listeners with its deep voice coming from a baby-faced singer.
The production felt generic and formulaic, following the Stock Aitken Waterman formula that churned out countless similar tracks.
Critics dismissed it as manufactured pop lacking any genuine emotion or artistic vision.
Rickrolling gave it new life decades later, but for ironic reasons rather than musical appreciation.
14. You Spin Me Round (Like a Record) – Dead or Alive (1984)
Pete Burns and his band created this high-energy dance track that became both popular and polarizing simultaneously.
The repetitive chorus drilled the record metaphor into listeners’ brains until they wanted to throw actual records.
Critics found it catchy but ultimately shallow, relying heavily on production tricks rather than songwriting skill.
Burns’ distinctive look and vocal style made the song memorable, though not always for flattering reasons.
15. Come On Eileen – Dexys Midnight Runners (1982)
Overalls and Celtic folk influences combined with new wave energy created this utterly bizarre but massively successful track.
The song shifts tempo awkwardly multiple times, making it feel like three different songs mashed together.
Though beloved by some, many find it dated and confusing, especially the incomprehensible middle section.
Critics praised its ambition but questioned whether ambition alone makes a song actually good to hear.
